


When I Fly (I Fly so High)

by ThatwasJustaDream



Series: Pool So Deep Series [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Community: 1_million_words, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erotic Electrostimulation, M/M, Mindfuck, Nipple Clamps, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Paddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 00:56:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1025439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not a lot of plot progression in this chapter, but it's been so long since I visited it that I just wanted to write a simple scene. Reminder it's a dom!Danny, sub!Steve story in case that's not your thing.</p></blockquote>





	1. Spanked

Danny was ready to start flipping things out of the medicine cabinet randomly.

“Aww… _c’mon_ …” he fumed as a box and a tube tumbled out of his fingers. “Not the time. _So_ not the time for this…”

He could hear Steve lying in his own bed a few yards behind him; face half buried in his pillow drawing in long, uneven breaths. They were slowing as Steve wound down but there was still so much relief in them. And the soft groan at the bottom of his exhales? Each one sent a shot of _turned on ache_ through Danny.

“You’re killing me, babe…” he muttered and took his own deep breath. Steve needed his _dom_ right now, needed Danny calm and in _charge_. He deserved that and more.

He focused, and found them; arnica, aloe, _yessss_ , took them back and sat on the edge of the mattress, running fingers along Steve’s shoulder blades, neck, his damp hair line. He reached down to kiss his softly open mouth. 

“Hey. You with me?” 

Steve nodded, kissed back reflexively, eyes still closed.

“Shit. I came?”

“Yeah, you did,” Danny hooked a finger through the gold loop on the front of Steve’s leather collar, tugged, directing his gaze up. “Did you take a trip? Looked like it.”

“Yes,” One word, but it came out so heavy with happiness. Danny reached in for another quick kiss, chuckling. “I was … it _felt_ like I was flying.”

“And that’s the first time in …?”

“Forever,” Steve flexed the arms still bound behind him, moved his legs as much as the straps holding his ankles to the bed allowed. “ _So_ long….”

“Okay, lotion coming in for a landing, here, just….fyi….” Steve’s ass cheeks and thighs were mottled; shades of pink, red, and cooked lobster as Danny dropped an aloe-coated palm onto them. 

Steve jumped, hissed, then sank down with a sigh. 

“I know, I know; worst is over.”

“ _Fuck_ , Danny…”

“Patience,” His hand skimmed in lazy figure eights over Steve’s skin, the aloe absorbing the heat that was flowing off of him. “When you’re ready again, we so will.”

~~*~~

Steve had coped with it all well – at first; the serial killer investigation leading straight to his first love-turned-psycho-killer and the horror of being kidnapped and battered by him again. Then, facing questions about the case and David’s bust, not to mention the murder trial that now lay ahead for the killings David committed.

And Steve would be called to testify, almost certainly.

Sometimes Danny wished Kono had aimed to kill.

So when Steve picked their relationship right back up like nothing happened, Danny told himself to let it be; Steve was okay, he was _good_. 

Except he wasn’t.

“Answer me this: Are you questioning my decision making and actions in the field today as my employee or as my dominant?” 

That was their low point to date, Steve dressing him down for daring to object to choices made on a less than remarkable case. It was cold, the way he snarked out the words – leaning down over Danny at the scene of the chase, his meaning clear; you’re not my _partner_ , boyfriend, whatever; you’re my _underling_ here and my _dom_ at home and that’s it, Danny.

Kono and Chin had split for their cars like the room was on fire.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, voice empty, but Danny was already turning away on one heel. 

He was in Steve’s doorway at quitting time, watching him flip through reports.

“I have my daughter this weekend,” Danny said. “But I’m free tomorrow. Come have dinner, okay? We’ll talk. That way we don’t let it turn into a thing and then a rift and…”

“Thanks,” Steve never lifted his eyes from the folders. “I will.”

They ordered Thai food and streamed a forgettable movie.

“No,” Danny put a palm to Steve’s chest when Steve moved in to kiss him. “C’mon. Let’s talk, and maybe you can tell me how you’re doing with that load of twisted crap the universe pulled on you? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you’re not okay with it.”

Steve worked to get a sentence out for nearly a minute, mouth opening more than once but closing silently every time. Danny watched how he looked away, eyes darting. He could almost feel him melting down from the inside out.

“Take your time,” he held Steve’s hand, directed his own eyes to where his thumb was making circles over Steve’s skin to keep him from feeling cornered.

“You know that I’m not on my own by accident,” Steve had said, when he could. “Part of me is… thinking maybe I was right. Maybe I’d still be better off that way. ”

“Because, why? Because the only time you both loved someone and let him really know you, let him give you everything that you wanted, he hurt you? And then he turned out to be, let’s not mince words, here, crazy. So now … you think…”

Danny dared a glimpse up. Steve’s eyes were almost black, all pupil and no grey-green. The hand holding Danny’s was squeezing tighter with every sentence he spoke.

“You’re pretty sure it wasn’t bad _luck_ , but something about _you_ ; you’re not meant to have everything the other girls and boys have. You should go back to random fucks with strangers instead of taking another chance. About sum it up?”

“Hell, yeah,” Steve rasped, meeting his gaze for a second. “It does. You’re good, Danny. Shrinks charge a couple hundred a session, you could make some bucks on the side.”

“Nah,” Danny kissed the back of his hand to break the mood, slid back on the couch, pulling him along. “Too late to go back to school. Oh, that was you deflecting with the glib comment just now. In case you didn’t know it.”

“I did know it,” Steve settled in against him, buried his face near Danny’s neck.

“Stay tonight, okay? You don’t have to decide anything right now.”

When Danny woke up he was gone, and there was a note on the nightstand: _Enjoy the dad-time with your girl. See you Monday._

Then it had turned into a thing. A rift. Not a hostile one, just… distance. 

He knew without being told when Steve started going back to the Belle Aurore, partaking of other men. Other doms. He never asked, only kicked Steve’s shoe lightly at a scene one day and muttered ‘do you have to look so well laid?’ 

Steve’s frown, the way he glanced away – they were all the confirmation he needed or could take.

~~*~~

After a month, Danny started to accept maybe this was a clean break. Then, out of nowhere, Steve walked into his office one afternoon, shut the door and sank to his knees.

“Geez, stop! What the…” Danny practically ran from the filing cabinet, prodding him, but he didn’t budge. “The walls? In these offices? More like windows, Steven.”

“Chin and Kono are an hour’s drive out, they called to check in. We have no breaking case. The odds of anyone walking in are extremely low.”

“Okay,” Danny reached to run fingers over Steve’s hair. “All right. Then, talk to me. What’s this about?”

“It’s not working. Random hook-ups. Only playing rough and not getting … everything I need. I’m used to _more_ now and… Please be my dom again. Just mine. The way we were before I let him spook me.”

“You didn’t have to do this,” Danny leaned in to kiss him. “Yes. A hundred times, yes.”

“I can’t promise I won’t pull away again. I warned you I’d be difficult.”

“You sure did,” He stood back up, hands squeezing Steve’s shoulders. “We’ll keep talking, being clear about where we are with it all. I think that’s the only thing we can do. Fair?”

“Yes. Thanks, Danny.” 

Danny sat back against his desk and Steve stayed put. He watched the way Steve’s chest was rising and falling fast, lightly, a reaction to the adrenaline generated by having to say ‘please’ and from the relief of the unqualified ‘yes’ he’d gotten in return.

There was something else in there, too – the need that had driven him into the office and onto his knees in the first place.

“Take yourself out,” He gave the order so softly it was barely audible, smiled at the way it made Steve jump a little before settling back into himself, eyes closing. “Do it. Give me a show. Work yourself as close as you can without coming. Really close, _no_ screwing around ‘cause I’ll know. ‘Kay?”

Steve nodded as he popped the snap on his pants and unzipped, eyes opening and gaze going straight to Danny’s. He didn’t break contact until more than a dozen long strokes in, and then only to look down at his cock, biting his lip as he tugged harder, faster.

“ _Fuck_ , like that….” Danny sighed as Steve shoved his pants down far enough to get the fingers of his free hand in, to squeeze and play with his balls as he pushed up into his other fist, hips twisting and _ohhhh_ …. “Exactly like that. More, c’mon…. yeah…”

Danny went to him and leaned in, mouth close to Steve’s as Steve panted and grunted, his focus turning inward. He kissed and bit at that mouth, breathing in the little edge of frantic starting to come off of him, looking down every so often so Steve would see that he was making sure there was no slacking off.

“I’m going to come over tomorrow night,” Danny said, stopping to let the ‘tomorrow’ sink in, to enjoy the distressed sound it got out of Steve. “… give you what I promised you when I spanked you in my apartment; my hand, the paddle, and then a crop; your new toy. I will make you come purely from the snap of it on your ass, the ache in your balls. I will use it right on your cock…”

Steve stopped stroking with a gasp and a swallowed moan. He bent forward with his head so close to the floor, free arm out to brace himself, that Danny had to drop way down to keep talking into his ear.

“I’ll do my best for you, babe. I’ll send you into subbie-heaven if I can, I promise…”

“Yes, Danny,” He could hear the genuine appreciation in his voice, and the strain of how hard he was working not to come in his own hand right now. “Thank you.”

“I’m going to leave so you can tuck yourself in with some privacy. Do not come between now and then.”

“Understood.”

It had taken most everything Danny had in him to leave and not look back. But he knew it was what they both needed.

~~*~~

“Forward some more…” Danny had added generous prep to the after-care, and was arranging Steve just how he wanted him on the bed now. “Perfect.”

He pushed in slowly and rocked even slower, a hand running over Steve’s lower back when it arched, avoiding bumping into his raw ass cheeks as best he could.

It was hot, the way Steve was fighting to stay quiet, to hold in his sounds again. Like that was going to last.

“You missed some things, up there on cloud nine,” Danny knew he wouldn’t be fucking him long after the last hour’s events, no matter how he tried to pace it. “Should have seen yourself. So beautiful…”

He’d warmed Steve’s ass and legs with his bare hand, first, and Steve had settled into it, leaning into the bolster he was lying over again now, hips up and head on several pillows. 

Danny had picked up new leather ties; they held Steve’s wrists close together midway up his back, but gave his arms room to move, let his hands twist and reach toward his ass for the paddle when Danny started in on him with it. 

“You do love that paddle, don’t you?”

“Fuck, _uh huh_ …..”

He had pulled out the crop when he could see Steve starting to drift away from the even, thudding sensation. The bright, angry sting of the leather loop on his skin – so sharp they could hear it - had drawn him right back for a while, made him gasp, legs and ass twisting now, too, his hands reaching harder.

“Color, babe,” Danny had kept up the strikes as he’d asked it. “Tell me.”

“Greeeen….

“Are you sure?” Danny had been half standing by the bed, half kneeling on it for leverage and he dug in deeper now, slapped the crop hard just south of Steve’s hole, north of his balls as he asked the question. 

“Yes, oh…. don’t, _fuck, don’t_ stop… mmmmmm…”

Danny had twisted, giving him a strike that caught the base of his cock; he felt Steve both leaving him again and coming at the same time. He’d had to fight the urge to reach in to get a hand on him, to stroke him hard – but he’d promised, he’d make him come purely from the strikes, so he doubled them – the strength, the pace as Steve came all over the sheets under him, shouting.

“So good, so…uhhhh….” Danny came, now, from the memory of it, pressing a hand into Steve’s back, fucking him into the bed and getting one long, last contented sound out of him.

It took a while to untangle when it was done, to push the bedding away. 

Technically he should have objected, but Danny let Steve pull him in tight when they landed.

“You good?” he asked and Steve nodded against the top of his head. 

“Yeah.”

“You mine?” Danny asked and smiled when he felt Steve huff into his hair.

“All yours,” Steve’s voice said more than the few words. “Just your luck.”


	2. Horny

Danny caught Steve’s eyes from across the lawn and shot him a ‘come here a sec’ look.

He bit back a smile at the microscopically small nod he got in return, the way the expression on that face changed not at all. The guy earnestly talking with Steve never even _saw_ it, but Danny felt a happy wave of ‘mine’ that made his heart beat faster.

They were at the governor’s spring charity event; two of two hundred people packing the back gardens. It was on the froofy side for his taste – chairs wrapped in white fabric, champagne flutes, a buffet covered with shrimp, fruit, cheese. But it was, he had to admit, beautiful- the kind of day that felt like it would stay Saturday afternoon forever. 

And the guy now stopping inches away; black suit with open collar, leaning in, eyes dancing? Wow… he looked more delicious than anything on that table.

“Thought we were trying to be subtle?” Steve asked, voice low. 

Danny gave him a ‘I think we’re doing a pretty good job’ shrug. 

“I’ll make it quick, but, uh… I really need to… convey something to you.” 

“And that is?” 

“I’ve decided what I’m going to do to you tonight. I think you’ll really…”

“Seriously?” Steve’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Are you…” 

“… _really_ enjoy it. As in shouting into the gag, out of control enjoying it. Okay, that's it. Go mingle.”

“You’re _not_ , are you? Not kidding…” Steve had started looking around self-consciously halfway through the explanation, face half pissed off and half confused. It was all Danny could do to keep his expression bland. 

“You _know_ this event runs until four o’clock and we kind of have to stay?” 

Danny nodded and walked away.

Sure, he knew. 

Absolutely.

It was nice to get to a place where they had room for mind-fuck; Steve was healing, Danny was sure of his role, work was routine at the moment. And the trial? It was eight more weeks out, delayed to allow both sides time to prepare. After all the bad times they’d had lately? He wanted to play with him good and hard. Unapologetically. All damn day long.

~*~

“Tell me. Quick.” Steve muttered it the next time they had five yards of space to themselves.

“Ruin the surprise?” He speared a cube of gouda, picked up a cracker. “How about no?”

“Danny….”

“Okay, ask me a question. I’ll answer.” 

“Striking implements?”

“None. Zero. Sorry, my big, sweet pain whore,” he took a bite, small enough to talk around it not impolitely as he chewed, “but I promise I’ll make it hurt some…”

They had to transition into polite conversation as the head of HPD started walking their way, clearly intent on a friendly chat.

“ _Hell_ , D,” Steve said, while they still had half a second.

“I know, babe. I know.”

~*~

“Restraints?”

They were on line for the bar when Steve managed to subtly whisper it.

“Two more hours. Do you really want to think about the answer for that long?”

“I asked, didn’t I?”

“In the car? Or once we get to your place? Which are you wondering about?” 

Steve looked away, exhaling a sound that was two parts ‘ungh’ and one part ‘screw you.’ 

“Doesn’t matter; it’s yes for both,” Danny gestured for him to lean in. “Particularly snug ones, all night long; I’m so going to work on your tolerance in that area; the only moving you’ll do, unless you say red, will involve involuntary physical reactions to….”

Steve walked away fast. Danny stayed in line and got him a Longboard.

They crossed paths, talked some more, but always in groups from then on - no more stolen seconds to themselves. In place of that, Danny threw quick glances his way and Steve caught them all – eyes a little more unfocused, more ‘somewhere else’ each time.

“We’re leaving,” he squeezed Danny’s arm and turned, started walking toward the parking lot the second the official speeches and thanks were over. “If you make any jokes, ask me if I’ve got a hot date or something…”

“ _Wait_ until I get you in my car,” there was just enough room to get away with saying that to him, and Danny put his full intent in every word. “Can you? Wait? I swear, I barely can.”

Steve broke into longer strides and Danny let him go, took his time, enjoyed the view.

~*~

“Lose the jacket,” Danny gestured toward the back seat, tossing his own there too as he got in. Steve complied. “Reach back- low around the seat, okay?”

“Why not wait ‘til…”

“Because I’ve added a layer to the plan that’s been rolling around in my head since, oh, noontime” Danny fired up the ignition and moved the car to the far end of the lot. It was empty there, now, and offered a straight shot to a back driveway that he could take when he was ready. “Be patient. I’ll explain.”

“Sorry,” Steve’s voice told him he knew they were in their roles now and Danny could punish him for arguing.

“It’s okay, I’ve been teasing you hard,” Danny reached, securing Steve’s left hand with a strap he pulled up from underneath the bottom, back side of the seat. He fastened the padded wrist wrap at the end of it tight around him, snapping shut the clasp and pulling the leather tongue of the belt over the clasp through the buckle. He slipped a finger in to make sure it wasn’t cutting his circulation. “Horny much, yet?"

"Hell, yeah. You know I am."

"Surprised you're not a little pissed at me..."

“I might be later. Too distracted right now.”

“Yeah,” Danny gave him a dirty deep kiss, rubbing his fingers over Steve’s hard on. “Been watching that build up on you, too. It looks good on you, distracted.”

He got out and walked to the other side, opening the door and reaching behind Steve for the other strap, securing his right arm. He could see Steve’s chest rising and falling faster when he stood up again. 

“So exactly when did you install bondage straps in your vehicle?”

“Three days ago,” He grinned. “It’s a ‘Pervertible’ now. Get it?”

“Were you thinking about me when you did it?”

“Who else would I be thinking about?"

“That’s kinda messed up, Danny.”

“Said the man about to be abused in my passenger’s seat.”

Danny flipped the door shut.

~*~ 

It took fifteen minutes to get to the beach he had in mind, the one with the long parking lot and few people ever there; another ten to get Steve fully situated and calmed down.

“Is there anyone…coming our….” Steve actually tried to lift up and look behind them, eyes a little wild and lips kiss reddened. Danny flipped the seat back half way. Steve let go, fuming a little with worry.

“There are fifty empty yards of tar mac between us and the entrance, and it’s not your job to watch. It’s my job,” Danny reached down and over and found the strap under the front of the seat, wrapping it around Steve’s right ankle. “Think you can let me do that?”

He heard a surprised intake of breath at the second set of straps, and Steve went silent as he tied his left ankle, too.

“Uh, Danny…” He squirmed, shifting back in the seat as much as possible, long legs straining. He tried moving his arms and let go of a quick, distressed sound at how very little range he had there. “I don’t know… I….”

“Too much? If it is…”

“No. Uh.. shit, just… talk to me? Please? Tell me why… why not go home?”

Steve had been doing so much better with restraints, actually enjoying them and then.... Danny felt a fresh wave of anger at the guy who'd taken that away from him again.

"Ah, okay, well, yes I promised, didn’t I?" he focused and took the hint, flipping open buttons on Steve's shirt. "When I get you there, I want the scene I had in my head at lunch - just the way I pictured it. And that involves getting you really close twice, then making you come for me the third time. But I realized...."

He tugged the shirt lose and opened it wide, reached for the button, then the zipper on Steve's pants.

"...it wouldn't be fair, getting you this worked up and not letting some of that steam off first. Could you, even? Hold off right now, if I asked?"

"No," Steve took Danny's tugging motion downward on his waistbands in the spirit intended and pressed with his feet, lifting up his ass, watched Danny tug his slacks and boxers down and over his hips, letting them bunch under his thighs. "Probably not. Fuuuck, ohhh....God, I’ve been fighting not to get hard for hours….."

"Yeah...look at you," Steve looked unwrapped like a present, and ready to unravel. Danny pumped Steve's cock half a dozen times, sucking air through his teeth at how high and hard and red it was already. "Look at that. Gonna make you come for me here, and by the time I get you back, get you in your collar and naked, you'll be ready for what’s next. Right?"

Steve was beyond anything more than grunting in agreement, eyes falling shut and mouth softly open as Danny stopped stroking and cupped his balls, barely, rolling and shaking them. The restraints were off his mind, though, clearly and that was good to see.

"Plus, I wanna do you absolutely everywhere- my car, your truck, parking lots, beaches, hiking trails. Want to get to the point where you can't go _anywhere_ without remembering the time I made you lose it there..."

Danny turned his hand and used the heel to rub slow and deep at the base of his dick, reaching with his free arm for the glove compartment. Steve opened his eyes again, coming down a bit but panting, now,

"C'mon, please.... soon, make me come, okay?"

"Soon, I promise,” he fished around and found what he wanted, dropped the tiny bottle of lube by his own hip and pressed open one of the two clover clamps in his hand open. "Think you need a little bit of this, maybe, too, though...."

He took a quick visual check to make sure they were still well and truly alone and dipped in, licking and sucking and biting Steve's left nipple to full attention, murmuring at the taste of his skin, the scent of his excitement, the way Steve went from panting to breathing hard as Danny pressed a good amount of flesh and the underside of the nipple up together and attached the clamp right _there_. It was positioned for a dull ache, not sharp pain but was on the tightest setting, too.

"Ohhhh.... no, oh... fuuuck...." There was a long chain on the clamp between it and the other one and Steve started twisting gently when Danny tugged at it, like he’d like to get away from it if he could.

"Good?"

"Yeah.... ungh....good. Almost… kind of too much, but... oh....maybe don’t tug so…."

"Hold that thought," Danny had to drop everything for a second to lube his left hand but did it fast as he could and was back, stroking, mouth going to the clamp to lick and nip around it and he could feel how fast things were going to go from here.

"Don't stop, please, don't...." Steve managed to get out and Danny didn't, just made a sound of reassurance.

It was a little awkward, maybe, leaning up as he needed to in order to jerk him harder and also pull and bite at the clamp at the same time, but so worth it. Steve, restrained, was channeling the waves of ache and 'ready to explode' through his abs and thighs, fucking up into Danny's hand faster and harder by the second until only his upper back was against the seat.

Danny wished he could see his face, but settled for this - Steve rocking and groaning as Danny added a twist every few strokes, dick twitching against his palm or his fingers whenever he bit harder around the clamp. 

He saved the hardest, deepest sucking bite for the second he felt Steve go from frantic and shaking to losing it, then sat back to watch; him shouting, eyes squeezed tight, coming all over Danny's hand, his own belly and chest for what was probably ten seconds but felt like a gorgeous freaking minute.

"Sorry, babe, one more big ouch," Danny pressed open the clamp, other hand still gently around him and Steve groaned out some of the air he was still sucking in hard. "Shit, I marked you up more than I thought…”

There were two purple bruises and some angry looking tooth marks on Steve’s chest that weren't going away any time today, but he was laughing softly, now, melting into the seat, still shaking a little. Danny figured he wouldn't hear too much about it.

"Fuck. Me. That was…..”

“Yeah, sure was.”

“Untie me?"

He was squirming again, already, so Danny reached in for a quick kiss and undid his legs, then searched the glove compartment for wet wipes. He handed him one once he freed Steve’s left hand, got out of the car to go around and undo the other.

“What?” Steve asked as Danny buckled up and started the car. He was zipped already, buttoning his shirt, voice heavy and loose and easy.

“Nothing,” Danny turned the car around and headed for the road.

“No. You want to ask me something, so ask it.”

“I know we said no twenty-four by seven, right? But… if you’ve got tomorrow free, I wondered if we could keep this going? All thirty hours, you know? As in, you’re mine to do as I will ‘til we crash Sunday night.”

“Stop,” They were near the top of the lot, ready to turn onto the road but Steve put a hand on Danny’s leg.

“It’s okay, you can say no, I won’t…” Danny touched the brakes.

“Tell me why you want that.” Steve looked like he really needed to hear it before he could answer.

“Because things were so hard for us at first and then so good and then….” Danny stopped and huffed a laugh. “Let me start over. I’ve felt like we’re back, you know, these past few days. Really back. And I don’t want to just play for a while tonight. I want to take care of you afterward, make dinner, lie in bed and watch a movie. And in the morning I want to play again, and then take you to that club we both pay for but never find time to ….”

“Yes,” Steve cut in and Danny’s eyes shot to his.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. C’mon,” he leaned and kissed him loose and light – a ‘going nowhere’ kiss that was so sweetly subby, almost a question or asking for more. “Drive us home, D. Show me what you’ve got for me next…..”


	3. Sinking Into It...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot of plot progression in this chapter, but it's been so long since I visited it that I just wanted to write a simple scene. Reminder it's a dom!Danny, sub!Steve story in case that's not your thing.

“Scooch for me?” 

Danny gave him a nudge, pulling another pillow up and behind his own back as Steve lifted, slid south and settled down again. 

On an average night they’d have some breathing room between them; Steve on his back, Danny on his side, the two of them flipping and tugging randomly at the sheet while they fell asleep to a movie together. But with them living their respective roles the whole weekend long, Steve was right where Danny asked him to be – head in the crook of Danny’s shoulder/arm, long body close alongside him, his own arm over him.

They would drift apart eventually, once they turned off the lights and the random late night entertainment. Danny didn’t even care what was on – he just wanted to lie here and enjoy this a while more.

“About the club tomorrow…” Steve’s voice was almost as heavy as his head and Danny smiled remembering why, exactly, that was. 

It had been a busy day.

“Yes. The club… what about it?”

“Are you thinking of… uh… us doing anything public? Like the rooms with the glass wall, maybe, or…”

“Of course not,” He’d been giving him a light, unintentional scalp massage but now he let his fingers dig in deeper. “I wouldn’t think about going there without a discussion. Geez. We’ve only been there together, what? Twice?”

Not to mention that multiple eyes on him was a stated trigger for Steve; too touchy for Danny to even consider using as control or punishment. Just going to the Belle Aurore as a couple was a significant step forward – going public, in a sense, even though it was a very private little club.

“Okay. Good. I … uh, I’ve been there many times, but I don’t really… know anyone. The bartender…”

“Ian.”

“Yeah. We’ve talked, but I’ve never shared my name or what I do or….”

“I know. He’s cool. It’s a good place, right? We’ll have a drink, I’ll help you put some names with faces and… we’ll have fun.”

It was unstated but understood that he also wanted to show them off a little – establish them as regulars and a couple. Steve deserved it, to enjoy the world he’d lived on the edges of for so long. Nothing heavy or serious, simply being himself out having fun with his dom.

“It’s been great, Danny….” He seemed to pick up on Danny’s thoughts, even though he sounded closer to drifting off than he had a minute ago. “Today. All of it. Even the work luncheon thing….”

It had been amazing; driving Steve to distraction at the party, playing with him in the parking lot at the beach, getting him home and seeing yet another of his fantasies come true; Steve standing in his bedroom with his arms behind him, a tight, intricately drawn web of soft, thin rope looped and tugged very taut from his shoulders to wrists.

Danny had kept it simple; adding the blindfold to increase Steve’s inward focus, edging him with his mouth, fingers and the egg vibrator. Simple never meant easy, though; three times up the hill without coming demanded Steve's total focus, compliance, self-control. Especially that third round. Damn… Danny knew there as no way he could have held that one back.

“Agreed, babe,” He lightened his touch, now, letting him drift away. “Sure has been.”

Steve had been so gone, eventually; a shivering, shaking mess, groaning rather than let the word ‘please’ falling from his mouth. Danny couldn’t resist giving him what he knew he wanted; kneeling to swallow him down, hands on his hips to help him stay up, doing the fluttery, repeated butterfly press of his throat around Steve’s cock head until Steve shouted and shook and…

…fucking fell apart. Just lost his mind. 

But he'd stood his ground as ordered the whole time he did; the extra stand of the thin rope Danny had trailed over the top of his feet lying right where it had been placed when it was done.

“So good for me. You always try so hard, whatever I ask…” Danny loved on the rasp in his own voice, the sound of Steve sucking in long, slow breaths, recovering.

He had kissed him everywhere, slowly, on his way up to standing then led him to the bed, belly down. Fucking was out of the question for longer than he’d wanted to wait, so he happily settled for lubing Steve’s ass-cheeks and kneeling over him, sliding his cock along them, between them, marking the back of his neck and shoulders with long, soft, sucking bites as he rocked.

“Fucking love this, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Hell, yes. Love it. Fucking… _ohhhhhh_ …..” Steve gasped, twisting under him, the arms Danny was holding down flexing as Danny bit harder, rocked faster. “…fucking need it from you. Just like…. _mmmmmm…_.”

All of it- Steve being so compliant with a heavier degree of bondage, letting his body be adored on, then lying still for him while Danny used him rough and shot all over his back, hips and ass – it would have been a struggle for him before. Now it just _was_ ; as uncomplicated as them fixing dinner later, washing up after, walking the beach and then sitting, talking quietly in the chairs after dark.

He was asleep, now; a bag of bricks snoring lightly. Danny found the remote and turned off the TV, sliding the last few inches down to flat.

Steve had to be in charge everywhere else in his life; had to think fast and act even quicker. Danny was relieved he could give him the release from it all that he so visibly needed.

He fell asleep looking forward to their day tomorrow, knowing Steve would be there, awake and awaiting him when his eyes opened.


	4. Turning Point

He’s been going at Steve hard all day - with the whip, the flogger, and his hands.

Steve feels his heartbeat thudding in his chest and ribs, heavy and uneven. There are cuts in his skin that burn whenever sweat rolls over them, other places that feel bruised when the heel of a hand digs in or fingers catch hold. His legs are raw; muscles tight from being tied in stress positions, from the toe-curling orgasms- some natural, some forced.

He’s being manhandled into place again but his spent body barely reacts at all. 

“Please, I can’t…” his face is shoved to the floor, fingers hard on his head. His legs are urged apart, his ass upward. His dom wants what he feels he’s owed; wants to fuck Steve’s beaten body but it’s resisting, sinking down. “I have to …catch my…”

He hears the pissed-off grunt that says he’s not getting a break, feels hands rough between his legs, squeezing his balls until his eyes water. He shouts, and it would be embarrassing how guttural and ragged it comes out if he had room to care.

The hand releases and he knows what’s coming; hard slaps on his already raw ass. It isn’t until he’s being filled, smelling his own sweat, heart hammering so hard his throat hurts that he realizes: The hand striking him is gloved. Leather. Fingerless, with studs. Danny has never touched him with a gloved hand, ever. Danny... wouldn’t do this to him. Ever.

“Ohhh…. _no_ …” 

Steve tries to get away, but his wrists are bound and he’s got nothing in the tank.

“Noo _ooo_ o…. David, no!”

He wakes up in mid gasp, is already sitting by the time he fully surfaces.

All a nightmare. Just a dream.

Danny doesn’t wake up, amazingly, even though Steve’s shaking hard beside him. 

It’s raining out and they left the window open. He can hear the ocean, sees the drapes flying in the breeze. He gets up to go tug at the glass and his legs are so wobbly the walk is like being on a rough sea. Then, the window shut, the room is quiet again; full of fresh air and moonlight and….Danny. Who barely stirs when Steve gets back into bed. 

He watches him – Danny’s loosest, most open face, lips barely parted. His dom, his…. love. He hasn’t said them to Danny yet, those three words.

“I’m still broken,” Steve says it to himself more than him. “Shit. I’m still…so busted.”

~*~  
The next time he wakes up, he’s alone. He can smell a faint, soapy scent - Danny showered at least an hour ago.

“Holy crap,” Danny says when he sees Steve stumbling down the lawn in last night’s jeans and a fresh t-shirt, squinting at the sun in his eyes. “It’s almost ten a.m., babe. This must be a world’s record. You okay?”

“Had a bad night’s sleep.”

“No kidding. I tried to wake you up and got nothing, not even a ‘screw you, leave me alone.’ I made coffee, did you smell it on the way by?”

“Oh….yeah. No, I guess I didn’t…” Steve started to go back, but Danny was up, a hand on his shoulder as he passed.

“Sit. I’ll get it. I need a refill.”

Steve did, waiting for him in his own chair. When Danny returned, Steve took the mug from him and slid to the grass, finding a place between Danny’s knees as he sat back down. Not because Danny asked, because it’s where he wanted to be.

“Did dinner disagree with you?”

Danny asked it as offhandedly as possible, but Steve heard the question within the question. He slid further down and let his head fall back fully against Danny’s thigh, leaning into the fingers that were tracing over his head, tugging lightly at his hair. 

“No. I had a nightmare.”

“Want to tell me about it?”

“We were playing. But it was too rough. Then it was brutal. And… it was him, not you. He was going to kill me, Danny. I could feel…everything happening, and I knew that when he was done… he was going to kill me.”

He was relieved Danny didn’t rush right in with comforting platitudes but simply kept stroking his head, silent. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, leaning down. Steve felt a kiss above his eyebrow, then Danny sitting back again, fingers never stopping. “So sorry, babe. But you know it’s probably not unusual, right? After what happened to you? It hasn’t been that long.”

“Is it? Not unusual? Or am I too….”

“I would think it’s _really_ common. Have you considered talking with someone who has a degree in these things? They might…”

“No.”

“Yeah. I figured that wasn’t going to be a hit with you.”

“Maybe.” Steve felt the word pop out. “When the trial gets closer, in a few weeks. I’ll think about it then.”

“That’s my point, think about it. Meantime, I think we should put this weekend to bed, so to speak – go back to vanilla you and vanilla me, hang out and relax, not go to the…”

“No, Danny, please; if you insist I won’t argue but… that’s not what I want.”

“Yeah? Can you give me a ‘why?’ After a dream like that why would you want…”

“If we don’t have the Sunday we planned it’ll hang over my head. Maybe for days.”

“Huh. Okay, point taken. So, then….what do you say? Breakfast, a little quality couch time, a drive on the shoreline and then the club. Good?”

“Absolutely.”

~*~

“You rented a play room for an hour with no intention of using it?” 

Steve watched Danny shrug a step in front of him. They’d just finished examining the various striking toys lined up on one wall; wood, rubber, and some scintillating extra skinny caning rods Danny had snickered at him for examining covetously. 

Now they were walking toward a tall old oak credenza full of small drawers that looked like it held many interesting things.

“Figured our first time we’d check it out …see what they’ve got, what to bring.”

Danny slid open a couple of the top drawers, flipping through the various metal cock rings and cages inside before shutting them again. He caught Steve eyeing the paddles back where they’d just come from and shook his head.

“No way. No paddle, no flogger, no hitting of any kind. Understood?”

“Yes,” Steve dared to step in close behind him, to let an arm drift around Danny and to kiss him by the ear without asking permission first. “Understood, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Steve didn’t do the ‘sir’ thing much and Danny didn’t need it, but it still made him smile, Steve giving him that, murmuring it against his skin the way he had.

“To paraphrase an awesome movie,” Danny pulled another drawer open. “Mr. McGarrett, I think you’re trying to seduce me.”

“Is that an E-stim unit?” Steve changed the subject, reaching around him and tapping at the metal box nestled behind a bunch of pads and rubber loops sealed in plastic.

“Yeah. Ever tried one?”

“No. Remember…I only played rough the last dozen years. There’s a lot I’ve never….”

“Do you _want_ to try it?”

The ‘tonight’ was implied. Steve eyed the box, and the wires sticking out from the pads.

“Yeah.”

“One thing: Only way it really works for me is if you are up for wrist restraints, and maybe some more added…things. To be determined later. You feel up to that?”

Steve let his forehead fall to the top of Danny’s head, nodding hard.

“Well all right, then. Guess we’re playing after all.”

There was a lot of furniture and there were more than a few devices to lean over, lie on or hang from in the room. They’d all been theoretical a few seconds ago – something they might use someday. Now they looked much more solid to Steve as he scanned them.

“Where do you want me?” He looked at a pair of kneeling spanking benches as he toed his shoes off and undid his jeans – one was tiny-sub-girl sized, the other much larger.

“Not there. Over on the memory foam mattress thingie.”

It was big but square; less like a bed and more like a cube but plenty large for Steve to stretch out on, with thick, fitted sheets. 

“Up or down?”

“Face down – but at ease for now, sailor. I’ll arrange you. Keep your shorts on. Unbutton the shirt but keep it on, too.”

“You don’t want me naked?”

Some subs would get a smack or a coupon for a future spanking for even asking, but Steve knew Danny liked to share his thought process.

“As gorgeous as you are naked? There’s something to be said for disheveled - you with your shorts around your knees and your clothes a twisted mess.”

Yeah. Danny savoring that idea had Steve’s attention. He felt a little lit up before he was even horizontal.

~*~

Danny congratulated himself on the call he’d made: Steve riding the tingling, throbbing waves of the electro-stim was something to see. Steve riding them with wrists bound behind his head, one cheek pressing into the mattress, shorts down and shirt up was…. 

“Wow. Oh…. _fuck,_ that’s….crazy….” Steve’s eyes went wide right from the start, even though Danny had explained in detail what he was going to be feeling. “It’s on low?”

“Yes. Two of twelve on the dial,” Danny stretched out in front of him, getting a hand on Steve’s higher hip and pushing back to keep him from lying fully flat. “Stay up a little…like this. Sorry, no rubbing off on the mattress tonight.”

“It feels like… a vibrator but stronger and …”

“Deeper. Right? Way deeper. I placed the pads so you’ll feel like you’re getting done on both sides…which is a pretty good trick for a little, black box.”

Danny turned the dial up a notch and watched Steve start twisting harder, mouth falling fully open and then snapping shut, jaw tight. He was going past the point of getting full words out – just sounds; wavering growls full of ‘hell, yeah.’ 

He decided not to stop him when Steve tipped forward again and got his knees under himself; at least he was keeping it in the spirit of what Danny intended, fucking the air instead of the bed. It would be physically hard for him not to push now, Danny knew: The current on the underside of Steve’s cock was giving him the sensation he was inside someone, being squeezed hard while the ones on either side of his hole were sending ‘you’re getting your ass reamed, too’ messages to his brain.

On this setting, there would also be that first bite of hurts-so-good muscle contractions and he knew that for Steve…it would be like freaking catnip.

“Awww …nn _nngghh_ hh ….s _hii_ it…. gonna….”

“Yeah, you are...” Danny had also explained it would seem like coming, even though he wouldn’t be the first time- maybe not even the third. “…but it’s only round one. Let it happen, and catch your breath fast ‘cause it’ll start right back up again.”

“We are so buying one of these,” Steve sighed it out on one long, shaky breath a minute later, when he’d momentarily regained control of his himself.

“Maybe. But we’re saving it for a treat if we do. I expect you’ll like it too much.”

Steve nodded, eyes already glassy and Danny saw he was sinking into his headspace. 

He got up and ditched his own pants when Steve began showing signs he was climbing back up the slide again, legs shifting and breath getting short. Then he got behind him and stretched out, tipping Steve back and pulling him close, giving him something to struggle against the next time he both came and didn’t come.

“Some people ride these things for an hour…” Danny said when Steve stopped falling apart the second time. 

“No way. No damn… hey, why did you stop it?”

Danny smiled at the conflicted language; was up and on the move again, gathering things he’d kept just out of Steve’s sight behind him. 

“I’m seeing you like this. I think I can push you right out of your head with it. Want some of that?”

“Um...yeah, I’m pretty sure is the only answer to that one.”

“I also want to try it with you more deeply restrained. As in a blindfold, and a plug gag. And rope around your ankles. We’ll make it one hundred percent about what you’re feeling – you can shout as loud as you want, and I can watch you turn to goo, watch you forget I’m even here until I’m in you. Can we try that?”

“You’ll give me something to drop? If I want...”

“Absolutely,” Danny gave him that first, pressing a rubber ball into Steve’s palm until he was gripping it tight. “You drop that, we stop.”

“How high are you going? With the setting?”

“That was three. I’m going to four when I have you arranged and I’ll let you take that for some time. Then I’ll go up a step to five, maybe six. That’s it, but it’ll be as much as you want, trust me; the muscle contractions won’t just zing, they’ll be …memorable.”

“You’ve done this?”

“Yes. I’d never use anything on you I haven’t tried myself,” Danny sat again, in front of him, holding out the gag so Steve could see it. “Now…take a deep breath for me, and then relax.”

Danny watched him comply and then he slid the plug in Steve’s mouth. He took his time adjusting the strap, making it nice and snug. Truth is, the gag was for him as much as Steve and he kind of suspected Steve knew it; the playrooms were well soundproofed – but seeing his mouth full, hearing him moan and struggle around the knob? Yes, that toy was ninety percent for him.

“So good,” He watched him slowly sink back into it – a process that took longer than Danny expected as Steve resisted the added isolation. “So good for me, that’s it…I’m here, I’ve got this…got you…”

When he did let go again, it was all at once. The turn of the dial up to five might have had something to do with it; Steve whining and twisting so hard Danny wasn’t even sure he’d be able to get a cock in edgewise – sweat breaking out over Steve’s back, making his skin shine, drops rolling down his neck and ribs and…

“Son of a….bitch…” Danny almost shouted as he pushed into him, dial at six and Steve so tight around him it hurt, Steve’s hole seizing and fluttering and…

Danny was used to taking his pleasure after Steve was spent – it had been a while since they both went out of their minds at the same time, Steve’s muffled groans nearly matching Danny’s shouts, their bodies sliding along each other’s from all the slick, obscene sounds of skin slapping and hard, wet fucking. 

Danny was relieved when they fell into a shaking pile to see the squeeze ball still firmly in Steve’s hand.

“Jeeesus… babe…” Danny got Steve’s hands free first, took the blindfold off while Steve was slowly, shakily pulling out the gag himself. “You good? Still like it?”

“Buying one…” Steve dropped back down, still breathing hard. “We are.”

“Okay. I’m sold.”

“Don’t have to move …do we?”

“No. Relax,” Danny tipped him back again, nuzzling his face into his neck. “I’m gonna rest, too. Then I’ll…fix up. We’ve got some time. Damn…that was worth the whole year’s membership fee.”

“Yeah, it was.”

~*~

“Sorry I can’t hang and visit with you tonight,” Ian the bartender was grabbing bottles of beer from a cardboard case and loading the little refrigerator down by the floor on the other side of the taps. “Sundays we’re lightly staffed. Most members skip the bar and head right home, so…I’m on my own.”

“No problem,” Danny said, getting up, giving Steve’s shoulder a squeeze, his ear a quick kiss as he headed for the Men’s room. Steve’s hair was still wet from the shower in the locker room, his shirt clinging to his damp skin. “We’ll catch up with you another night. I expect we’ll be here more often, now.”

Ian had done a double take when they’d walked in after their session and ordered: Danny had chatted with him more than once in the couple of weeks when he and Steve were apart. But Ian had only ever seen Steve way back –when Steve was a nameless but notable face who came in for a drink and someone to hook up with, and left just as quickly as he’d arrived.

Danny couldn’t help noticing how pleased he looked at the sight of them together, at the realization Steve was the guy he’d been telling him about, the guy he was with.

“You’ve worked here a long time, haven’t you?” Steve asked Ian, now.

“Yeah – it’s a great gig, and my girl’s a dom for hire, so… it works well for us, both being here most days.”

“All in the family.”

“Exactly. Excuse me - one more case of beer I’ve got to go grab, and then I can finish stocking….” Ian headed for the kitchen door and the stairs to the first floor. “Be back.”

There had been a few of other people in the bar when they’d walked in – but they’d wandered out and Steve had it all to himself for the moment. He picked up the TV remote with the thought of turning up the volume on the 6pm news when someone not Danny walked up and stood very close to his left.

“You’re a difficult man to deliver a message to.”

“Excuse me?” Steve paused with his beer bottle halfway to his mouth and then went on drinking.

“I have a business associate who knows a guy currently housed in the Halawa Supermax wing.”

Steve didn’t need to ask why the association was being explained to him. Apparently it showed on his face, despite his best effort.

“I see you’ve added up that my buddy’s friend had a conversation with your ex? David asked him if he’d be kind enough to get a question to you: Do you think he’s going to rot in prison the rest of his life? Do you think he doesn’t have hugely powerful connections who can help him break out? He does –friends more powerful than yours, in their own world. He wants you to know this time you won’t survive what he’s got planned. He gets that he probably won’t either. And he’s made his peace with that.”

The guy must have seen Steve fighting the urge to get up and take him in for questioning. He held out his hands, loose fists pointed down as if awaiting cuffs.

“Wanna grill me, charge me with terroristic threatening? You can, but I wouldn’t. Because David says if you share this with anyone, he’ll take out your boy, first. His name is Danny, right? I’m told he’s got a kid. And the misfortune of knowing you.”

Steve was staring at the bar by the time the guy finished – doing the best he could not to react, not to give him anything at all.

Then he was gone, and Steve was alone again.

~*~

“Hey, Danny, are we still ‘on?’” 

Steve stood in the living room, watching him organizing something in the kitchen. Probably breakfast dishes. Danny liked to sleep until the last minute and have everything lined up just so.

“Ah, sorry – I forgot to call it a wrap.” He walked Steve’s way, leaning up for a kiss. “I want a couple of hours before work where we’re just you and me; no rules no roles, so…. I declare this weekend-long scene over. And extraordinarily successful. Agreed?”

“Very much, yes,” Steve watched Danny wink and head for the kitchen again. “Wait. Don’t go yet, please?”

Danny turned again, smile still on his lips but a vaguely confused look right behind it.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Steve looked away, breathing deep. “I… uh… oh, hell…”

“What?” Danny walked the few steps back, looking even more concerned, taking Steve’s hand. “You look like you just swallowed a frog. C’mon, tell me - what’s wrong?”

“I…uh…. I love you. You’re not just my dom or my …whatever. Boyfriend? Are we past the age of being able to use that word? Anyway…whatever; I love you and I’m in love with you and I’ve been wanting to say it and… I thought you should know that.”

“Holy crap,” Danny’s voice sounded off kilter, and when Steve got the presence of mind to look him in the eyes again he saw Danny’s were glistening, scanning Steve’s nervous face. “Listen to the words out of you. That was huge. For anyone. Let alone….”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I know. So maybe you could put me out of my misery?”

“What misery? This year, since I found you, it’s…. the least alone I’ve ever felt in my whole life. Of course I love you, too. So much.”

They celebrated by hitting the lights, getting in bed and….reading. Watching a movie.

Danny did a Sudoku and Steve – to his complete surprise -- fell asleep first. 

And slept like a log.


	5. Out of Time

“I’m not even going to say it….”

Danny was standing, leaning back against the counter by the kitchen sink the next morning, face a blank. The only sign Steve could see of his anger was the way the coffee cup in his hand was shaking ever so slightly as he gripped it.

“Thanks. I appreciate that," Steve shifted in his seat at the table. "And you don’t even have _to say it, ‘cause I know what you're…”_

“What the hell were you _thinking_?” Danny barked. 

Steve chuckled, let his head fall briefly onto his folded arms. 

“So much for not saying it, huh?” 

“We could have followed him, taken him in for questioning. Could have figured out the link between him and his buddy and David…” 

“Did you hear what I told you?” Steve got up and dropped his cereal bowl behind Danny, gave his shoulder a rub to try to break the far away and calculating look in his eyes. “They're not screwing around they'll hurt you if they know I told you. We have to go at this strategically, and busting the guy at the bar would have been the opposite of that." 

“There's security cam footage, right?" Danny kept right on going, and Steve knew better than to think it meant he understood or agreed with what Steve had tried to get through to him. “The club's? Maybe they got him walking to his car, a license plate…” 

“I know they keep their camera footage for forty-eight hours,” Steve said. "Found that out the last time we had to request it. We can contact them anytime today, but there’s something else we have to do first.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Go to work. Get Chin and Kono in my office and shut the door, give them the option to know or not to know what's happening - with the risks spelled out before we share the details. Then, if they’re willing, we work it as a team.” 

“Well…I think that's a... fantastic idea.” 

Steve had been bracing for words other than fantastic out of Danny, and he felt his body relaxing with relief. 

“Listen... I'm not trying to keep the people who can help me in the dark. Just trying to keep you all as safe as I possibly can.” 

“I know," Danny leaned into him, urging Steve's arm to wrap around him and settling into the embrace when he did. "I still wish you'd told me last night, maybe. Before we went to sleep." 

"How well would you have rested if I did?" Steve asked. 

"How well did you sleep?" 

"Actually, great. I know, that's kind of...." 

"Inexplicable. Like you," Danny said. "You will always be a mystery to me." 

"Maybe that's why you love me," Steve tried the half-an-overconfident grin that usually mollified or riled Danny up to just the right degree depending on the situation. 

It seemed to work; Danny wasn't anywhere close to a frame of mind for smiling or even bantering, but he was visibly calming down, thinking things through. 

"C’mon," Danny ditched the coffee cup. "Let’s go. The sooner we get on top of this..." 

Steve got near enough to plant a kiss on Danny's temple as they shut the door and headed for the car; he got a reach back and a pat on the hip from him but Danny still looked a little perturbed. 

He had a feeling he'd be seeing a lot more perturbed-Danny face until this was over. If that was the worst that happened.... he knew they'd both be lucky. 

~*~ 

"I guess you could look at it two ways," Kono paced around Steve's office. "Either he waited until the last second to warn you in order to mess with your head at the most pivotal time. If that's the case, whatever he's planning to try to spring on you is coming down very soon. Or... maybe he wanted to maximize the amount of time you spent worrying - hopes to have everyone on their last nerve by the time of the trial. Then, it could be weeks out." 

"Is this supposed to be comforting in some convoluted way?" Danny was pacing, too, albeit more randomly and more slowly than Kono, sticking close by Steve. 

"No. It's just an observation. I'm sure we're all thinking about the first two questions we really have to answer: what's he planning and when's it set to happen?" 

Neither Chin nor Kono had hesitated to say 'in' when Steve asked if they were in or out. Chin was already on the phone with the club asking about the footage and getting it delivered via a digital file so no one had to go there or come to HQ with it. 

"We'll figure this out faster if we can pinpoint who at the prison is in David's circle. If he has a circle," Steve said. "But we can't go walking in there asking questions, obviously, so..." 

"I think I know a certain someone who can help us," Kono waited until Steve nodded to pull out her cell and head for the bullpen. "Don't worry, I'll make it clear how quiet this needs to be kept. Probably cost us some cash, boss." 

"I'm fine with spending for this," Steve nodded for her to keep going. "But don't promise him favors down the road, though; money's likely to be the cheaper option." 

"We have to get better picture of David's life from the year he left Oahu until he came back here," Danny said. "We need to know as much as the prosecutors in this case are digging up. More, maybe..." 

"I'll get on that,"Steve gave Danny a 'no objections' look. "It's the kind of thing he'd expect me to do, so it won't set off any alarms that I've maybe shared this with you. I agree we need to know, but no one can attach you to it - no way." 

"Okay," Danny finally stopped pacing, hands on his hips, eyes suddenly calmer, like he'd decided something. 

Steve got up and walked the few steps between them. He sat on the edge of his own desk to face him and ran fingers over Danny's forehead, palm cupping his ear after. 

"What's going on in there?" 

"You're not going to like it," Danny gave him a second to say something and when Steve didn't he went on. "He can't come out of this alive. That's what I'm thinking. He's a damn psychopath and he's already delivered the message that he won't stop coming after you, ever. This isn't over until he's..." 

"Danny...." 

"And here's the other thing: You don't leave my sight. Not for a second, understood?" 

"Don't let this get to you. Don't let him do this ....." 

"I'm not. Not freaking out. I'm just saying... he'll have to come through me to get to you. Understood?" 

"I get it, yes." 

"Do you? 'Cause I'm serious: You need something at the store, I'm going. You hit the head, I'm standing on the other side of the urinal. You...." 

"Hey, woah..."Steve pulled him a step toward him, hoping to keep the concern he saw from spiraling back into fear. "I said okay. Is it all right with my dom if I hug him? In the office? As in now?" 

"Hell, yeah," Danny let himself be pulled the rest of the way in. "This sucks." 

"I know..." 

Steve felt Danny's arms tighten around him and he gave him the same back, head dipping down to breathe in the scents of his skin and shampoo and the cotton in his shirt. 

It was the closest he'd felt to content and well and safe all morning...until every phone- landline and cell- in the office started ringing and beeping with text alerts. 

"Did you see the message?" Chin had his head in the office before they could pull out their cells - he'd probably gotten first word over the computer. "Damn it..." 

"Explosion and gunfire at Halawa," Danny read it in a tone that said it was zero surprise. "Knife fights, too. Guards down, and at least three inmates escaped. Maybe more." 

"C'mon," Steve had his phone to his ear already, probably calling for word on where to rendezvous with the helicopter. "I'll grab our gear." 

"We'll grab out gear...." Danny said, on his heels, Kono and Chin already almost out the door. 

"Gotta tell the governor about this, now," Kono said to them as she left. 

Steve looked at Danny as she did, but didn't say anything. He saw Danny's 'oh, crap' look, a moment of doubt, and then... 

"Let's go," Danny said, nodding both for the door and in agreement. 


	6. On the Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to let this fic linger so long! Sorry. :\ And, damn... where is this year going? One, maybe two more chapters after this.

_11:15am - on the H1, Diamond Head_

“Gimme an ETA…” Steve tried to keep his voice steady, eyes veering from the road to his GPS and back.

“Five…” he heard Chin through his phone earpiece. “Maybe six minutes.”

“You’re gonna beat me there….” Steve pressed the pedal down harder, sliding his car into the left lane, then right, and then left; he was racing around other vehicles, headed back toward his house at … what? Ninety-five miles an hour? He was going so fast, he didn’t have time to check.

If Danny could see him now, he’d be purple with anger. He wished Danny _were_ here. Shouting at him. God, what he would pay if…..

“We’ll stop well before the house,” he heard Chin thinking it through. “Kono and I will walk the perimeter until you catch up and see what we can see…”

“Be careful,” Steve said. “We have no idea what he’s got waiting ….”

As in traps to be sprung; ones that could kill them all. Steve didn’t even have to explain his thought process on that to Chin – they all knew they were dealing with a man with zero hopes or concerns about surviving this; a person who knew he either had only a few hours to live, or endless hours in prison until he died, anyway. 

~*~

_One hour earlier - Halawa Prison_

“He wants to talk to you,” The incident commander walked directly over to the 5-0 team when they got there, holding a phone out to Steve. “Says he’ll only negotiate with you.”

“Shocking,” Danny made a move to get in between that phone and Steve, but Steve held him back with a hand and took the phone with the other. “Of course he wants to talk with you. He wants to get in your head, babe. He’s gonna tell you that you have to come in there and get him or… Steven, tell me you’re not going to be stupid enough to ….”

“David?” Steve was running through scenarios – all the ways this might go. “You know what happens next, right? You give up and you live, or you don’t and …”

“Yeah,” The voice that made his skin crawl, the actual walking nightmare of half his life, said it so calmly. Almost like he was tired of waiting and ready to get on with this. “I do. And I’m good with it. Because you’re only guessing at what’s next, but I know I’m getting what I want: Half an hour with you. In here. You let me use you like the pathetic, needy piece of meat you are … and then I surrender.”

“Are you actually insane? Why would I…”

“Think, Steven; you will do it. Because it’ll be private – just us two. It’ll save you the public spectacle; no trial, no sitting in a courtroom and admitting out loud what a masochistic piece of sub crap you are. No need for your friends, your colleagues to hear you say it out loud.”

“You tried to kill me …”

“I did. I failed. And if I try it from in here, I lose for good. For me, success now is making you suffer again – today, and then the rest of your life. I’ll make you do what you’re most terrified of. That’ll cripple you; it’s what I’m banking on - ruining what few pieces of a life you’ve managed to stitch together. The new guy’ll only stick around and play nursemaid to a broken toy for so long…”

“If I don’t come in? What the hell are you going to do from prison?”

“It’s already in motion, what I’ll do. You’ll live; either way, you live. But if you don’t come in here, you’ll see everyone and everything you care about dead or burning down in front of you before sunset, Steven. You know it’s not an empty threat; it will happen, if you don’t get your ass in here for me.”

~*~

It was the longest walk he’d taken in years; going alone from the front gates of the prison into the Supermax area. It felt like close to half an hour – the floor of the place had never seemed that big, when they were simply coming in to question someone. 

Right now it felt endless. Was endless.

The HPD practically had to sit on Danny to keep him from stopping Steve from going in. The last he’d seen of him, Danny was shouting and swearing, marching away from them all toward the parking lot, arms flailing with a degree of pissed-off even Steve didn’t dream he was capable of. 

Every few thousand yards there was another convict pointing, guiding him toward David – there had to be a dozen people he was paying off, at least. And with every turn down another corridor, Steve felt it; his heart pounding harder, gut tightening. His mind getting jumbled and twisted and his body….

He had to fight not to let it show when he walked into David’s cell; had to breathe slow and deep before he said it to the figure in the wooden chair, faced away from him. 

“I’m here,” Steve raised the gun in his hand, leveled it at the back of David’s head. “Tell me why I shouldn’t put one through your skull right now?”

The chair turned and it was… no one. No one he recognized. Another random prisoner in a jumpsuit – David’s height and weight, but not him. Never was him in here.

Was David even in the prison any more? Had he escaped minutes, hours ago? Long before the riot ever started?

The man in the chair held his hand out. 

Steve took the phone from him.

“Where are you?” He heard a familiar, cold snort. “You sick fucker, where are you?”

“The better question,” David asked him through the cell line. “Is …where’s your boy? Where is Danny, Steve?”

~*~

“Chin?”

“Steve, where are you?”

“Making my way back. Maybe fifteen minutes from where you are. They’ve got him.”

“Who?”

“Danny. They’ve got Danny. Chin, they were planning to take him all alon…”

“They don’t have him, he’s right over….”

Steve didn’t stop running through the long, sickening silence from the other end. 

“Do not alert HPD,” Steve tried to run faster, but it felt like his feet were weighted – with frustration, with pure anger. “If you do….David says he’ll….”

“Got it. Just us. We’ll fix this, just us….” Chin sounded calmer, not more panicked, and it helped. “Where are they taking him?”

“I don’t…know…” He could see the front of the compound, now, but it was still minutes away. “He wouldn’t….tell me.”

“Any clue? Think, c’mon… he must have said something that…”

_…. everyone and everything you care about dead or burning down…._

“My house. They’re taking him back to my house. Chin, he’s going to kill him in my living room. Where my dad died. Probably got the place rigged with….”

Steve heard Chin swear, something he almost never did. Heard the phone line cut off, and knew that Chin and Kono were already headed that way. 

Steve shoved the phone in his pocket, and ran faster.


	7. Where are you?

“Slow down, Steven. Speed won’t help you now; you need room to think. The time to move fast is once you get here…”

He’d put his earpiece in to make it easier to both drive and try to contact his team. Hearing that voice instead of theirs? It was hard for Steve to focus, to not let anger and disgust take him over.

“We can still do this the right way,” Steve told him. But he did find himself lightning up on his gas pedal. “Leave him out of it… let Danny go, okay?”

Slowing down gave him the chance to text Chin again, then Kono. It had been minutes since he’d heard anything from them.

“It’s not only about _him_ anymore,” David said. “It’s about _them_. I’ve got them all -  taped up nice and tight. They couldn’t resist trying to end this; do none of you believe in having effective backup? You know what I did for a living – I protected some of the most dangerous people in the world from the highly motivated bastards who wanted them out of the way. Cops who play fair are no match for me…”  
  
“What do you _want_?” Steve tried to get him focused on the essential. “Tell me what you want and….”

“What do I want? Not to go to prison for the rest of my life. To have a few dozen more years to work over pathetic masochists like you. But since that’s never going to be…. I’ll settle for watching you die knowing you had a chance to save them all and failed. It’ll hurt a thousand times more, won’t it? Feeling  the life go out of you and understanding how completely you let them down?”

“Why did you tell me to slow down?” Steve asked, his heart sinking.

Part of him already suspected the answer.

“Because it's a game we're playing, and I  need time to read you the rules...” David was audibly pleased Steve had finally caught on. “Here’s how this goes….”

~*~

“What should we do, sergeant?”  The officer in charge of the SWAT team asked Duke Lukela, attention split between Lukela and the operation going on in front of them. “I need your instincts on this right now…”

Duke knew there was no time for hesitation. The tacticians getting the prison sorted out and locked down had all of their hands full – and now they had this report of McGarrett proceeding at a high rate of speed in a direction that strongly suggested this nightmare of a day had consumed his own home.

“He’s not answering our calls, and we can’t get any of his team, either -- so do we roll in there whether he wants us or not? Or do we hold off?”

  
“There was a time I thought the guy was more than half-crazy,” Duke told him. “These days…. I’m down to maybe one third. If McGarrett believes they have reason to go it alone, my gut says we need to let them.”

“Send backup, but not too close…” The officer in charge ordered over his radio. “And an EMT team. Keep them five minutes out and on standby….”

~*~

“No games, sorry….” Steve tried to keep his replies to David short; tried to hear whatever he could in the background through the phone line. “Not playing. They wouldn’t want me to.”

  
“You’re forgetting your position;  If you don’t play, I put a knife through your partner’s femoral artery right now. He’ll bleed out on your living room floor before you even get here.”

“The H1,” Steve said.  “I’m at on the H1, off the 201. At Kalihi Street.”

“Good. And your speed?”

“Forty. There’s heavy traffic. We’re moving, but… there’s no way around it.”

“Notify me if your speed drops or increases. Tell me where you are whenever I ask.”

“And you’ll do what?”

  
“Put everything in motion -  at exactly the right time….”

“If you hurt them, I’ll make you suffer. Before I kill you.”

  
“I won’t be the one to hurt your lovely girl and her cousin, even though she most definitely shot me last time around, didn’t she, the bitch? _You’ll_ hurt them when you come flying in that door; you’ll fail to take me down in the half of a second you’ve got before my thumb pushes the trigger to the C4 ringing this room. That’s the bang-bang part of the game, Steven, and I really don’t think any of us gets to play past that point. But in case I underestimate you…..”  
  
 “You are a sick fuck…”

 “Thanks. Where are you, Steven?”

“By Kokea– I'm  crossing over the canal.”

“….just in case you do take me down, I _am_ going to stab Danny in the femoral artery. When you are three minutes away. I’ll give the knife a nice twist, Samurai-style, and by the time you roll in, you’ll only have two minutes left  ‘til there’s no saving him…”

“…a sick, twisted …”

“I’m putting a timer on the explosives too;  you’ll also  have just two minutes to get them all out of here. What’s your guess on the odds are of compressing Danny’s wound properly, saving them, and figuring out the timer before….”

  
“…fucker. I’m asking you again… David - take this out on me. Not them.”

“Oh, but I am. It's all I thought about in there - how to take it out on you...”

“I’ll stop. I’ll pull over and ….”

“No you won’t – I told you, I’ll kill him now. Do you think I won’t?”

Steve heard a gagged groan – male voice – and a shrieked ‘no!’ followed by a shout – Kono.

“What the hell did you just do?”

“Gave them a swift kick for your insolence. Here’s one for Chin, too….”

 “I will see you suffer, I swear I will….”

“Happy with your decision to fight the inevitable? If you stop, he dies now. If you send in a SWAT team, they all do. Do anything but keep coming this way, alone, and ….game over. Understood?”

“Yes…”  Steve started looking for a way through the jam, foot pressing harder on the pedal again. “I understand.”

“Good boy. Now….   where are you, Steven?”


	8. One second, as long as the thousand before it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the squeamish: depiction of a stabbing in this chapter, 'heard' but not 'seen.' Whumpage this chapter and next.

“Time is odd…” David said in his ear, and he wanted to fling the phone so goddamn bad but it wasn’t an option - not as long as David would talk, would let him have an inch of a clue as to what was happening inside his house. “When you’ve got a lot of it, closing a gap is so doable. But when you’ve only got minutes – then, it’s virtually impossible.”

Steve was practically flying around the other cars on the H1 again – siren blaring, only sub-consciously registering the horns of horrified drivers honking despite the signs his was an official car. He didn’t have a choice; he _had_ to go that fast, _had_ to close the gap….because he had to surprise him.

It was the _only_ way, or Danny was dead. _All_ of them were dead.

“If you hang up to call for help, I’ll slit their throats. You could text someone, but you’re driving too fast for that --  and once you’re here….well, you’d have to stop. Have to eat up time you can’t afford.”

“I will see you dead,” Steve said, fighting to keep the car upright on the exit ramp. “Swear I will.”

“I’ll be free …whatever happens, David replied. “You won’t. If you live, you’ll never be free of this. What you brought on him….”

It had been a sickening moment – and that was saying something, with all he’d been through over the years; Danny’s shout as the knife went into his leg. A strangled, shocked sob, like he’d steeled himself not to make a sound but failed.

Kono had screamed – a sound of pure anger, not fear. Nothing from Chin  - maybe he was conscious, maybe not? Steve hadn’t heard a sound from him, which told him probably the later – he would have tried to give some indication.

Then Danny was screaming, too, presumably as David twisted the knife and dug the artery in his thigh wide open.

Five minutes. Femoral artery bleeds kill in five minutes.

It was down to four when his house first came in sight – four minutes by car with no local traffic, but there was local traffic, of course, there always was.

Steve ditched the car on the median and ran – wasn’t even sure if he cranked the key off and wouldn’t have cared if he hadn’t.

“Where are you, Steve?”

“Why should I tell you? You’ve already….”

“Kono’s next, unless you say it. Where are….”

“Two and a half blocks away,” Steve said, though it barely half that; It was time to lie. “Gonna shoot you in the throat, you piece of shit….”

“We all know who the markswoman is in your group, Steven…” David said “and you don’t have her available to save you this time.”

There was nothing more to say after that: He was almost there and David knew it and …

Bang- bang. That’s what it would be; as much as he despised him, Steve knew he was right about that: It would be over in a matter of a second for one of them. A second that was rushing at them both.

Steve didn’t hang up, but he did tug the mouthpiece attached to his ear piece until it broke. He heard David huff out a sound – not surprised, so much as acknowledging it; that Steve was doing one of the few things he could to get an edge. He’d just taken away the sound of his feet running, the sound that David might hear when his hand gripped the doorknob to enter.

David couldn’t retaliate – couldn’t do anything more to his team, because time wasn’t with him either. He had to be ready to set off the explosives, but not before Steve was there.

What he hoped he wouldn’t anticipate was how fast Steve could run – how much ground he could make up; enough to bolt behind his house and grab the trellis near the back, by the lanai – to climb it as silently as he would if he were trying to surprise an enemy on  a battlefield.  The wood was old, and he could feel it wanting to give as he clambered, but it held.

The window into his room was open, always open for cross-ventilation, to let the trade winds in. He popped the screen and caught it before it fell, slid through as quietly as possible, battling to control his bursting lungs, to not let his breathing give him away or his fear of the time he was losing make him mis-step.

There was only so long David would be fooled, if he were fooled at all.

Steve felt the realization of all that make his heart pound even harder – make his blood pressure fall. He understood the all too human mechanisms behind that from his training: how his body was trying to protect itself, trying to immobilize him and keep him from the danger a few yards away.

Steve pulled his nightstand drawer open on his way by and grabbed the box cutter waiting there, the one Danny kept for quick release of bondage tape if Steve ever needed to be free of a scene _now_.  

He sucked in a long, silent breath, drew his gun and ran for the door…. the stairs….

David was positioned sideways in the living room. Not fooled at all; standing so his peripheral vision covered both the front door and the stairs.

Steve saw him turn, and then spin.

And in the way that time will go from odd to very, very weird – will slow  to an absolute crawl in a crisis, a second splitting into a thousand individual frames, he saw one more thing: David’s palm squeezing around the simple, olive-colored metal device filling his palm.

…. pressing the two sides of the C-4 detonator together as Steve aimed…and fired.


	9. three...two...one...

The bullet Steve fired hit David in the shoulder - the arm holding the detonator – and it flung him stumbling backward with a grunt.

All that was left was to see was if he’d fired in time to stop David’s hand from squeezing; and for half a breath Steve felt frozen again until he watched the device clatter to the ground. Then his training kicked in: He moved on instinct down the last few stairs without feeling them, round-kicking David the rest of the way to the floor, his boot finding David’s throat and stomping on it hard, twice.

There was a sickening sound of bone and windpipe being crushed and a short, choked, agonized shout out of David but Steve had already moved on.

“Danny….no….”

He looked _gone_ already: slumped in the chair, arms bound behind him, head down and his eyes not quite closed. His skin was a chalky, grey-white.

Steve ran to Kono first, though, as hard as it was to leave Danny there. He could see Chin was out cold, flat on the floor next to where she sat – noted a bruise on one temple that suggested he’d taken a punch or a slam of a gun barrel against his head.

“Steve!” she shouted, and at first he thought she was urging him to go to Danny. Then… “Behind you!”

Somehow David was still moving - like a roach that wouldn’t die, his arm reaching for the detonator.

Steve had been ready to go at the tape on Kono’s arms and wrists with the blade, but he rose deliberately and turned to kick him again and stand over him.

“Hey!” he shouted and David looked up at him as he’d hoped, right into Steve’s eyes as Steve pointed his gun at David’s forehead. “Told you I’d see you dead.”

The shot, at that range, took away a sizeable piece of his face.

“I’ll get him out,” Kono nodded toward Chin as Steve cut the tape on her hands as fast as he could without cutting her, handing her the blade. “I heard what he told you…we have to _move_ …”

Steve was with Danny in seconds; but how many? Did they even have a hundred more, before the timers on the blocks of C4 he could see scattered around his living room went off?

“Chin, c’mon…” He heard Kono yelling, trying once to rouse him. Then she gave up and tucked the blade in her belt, crouching down to hook her elbows under Chin’s arms and pull him up to do a Fireman’s Carry over her back.

“Jesus…” Steve was trying to stop Danny from bleeding out  - if it wasn’t already too late. “Oh my God…no…no….”

So much blood; pooling on Steve’s living room floor, soaking the area rug thickly, the air heavy with the musky, acrid smell of it.

Steve pressed two fingers into the knife wound in Danny’s thigh; felt the warm, raw sucking sensation of flesh sawed open with a blade. He pressed hard and deep enough to stop the bleeding with that one hand, then crouched to do the same as Kono; to get Danny over his shoulder while still plugging the wound as best he could.

It was awkward and so not easy, getting Danny’s solid weight up enough to get them hell out of there with only one fully-free arm. But if he didn’t stumble out of here with him this way, right now?

“Go!” He yelled to Kono, waiting until she had the door open and was out on the lawn to stumble through, as well.

At least three of Danny’s five minutes were passed.

The timers on the C4 that David had vowed to set were maybe a minute and a half from blowing out the walls of his house.

And they still hadn’t had even a second to call for help.

 ~*~

“No! Where are you _… going_? _No!_ ” Kono’s voice was panicked, and so shrill that it was almost unrecognizable as being hers. “Steve, _what_ are you _doing_?!”

She wasn’t terrorized about her own safety – but about why it was that Steve was pressing her fingers into Danny’s wound, putting his phone to his ear and running back to his house.

“Steve….there’s no way, there’s no… _time_!”

She could hear him shouting ‘officer down’ and his address into the phone and knew help was on the way.

But how far back was it?

And oh …. what was Steve thinking?

~*~

David obviously had someone wire the explosives to very specific dimensions for him: enough of them, set just _so,_ to cover every corner and load-bearing wall of his home. Steve pulled as many as he could of them apart, one by one, racing through his parents’ home, feeling the seconds tick away.

He did it not because he couldn’t live without this place, but because he was determined not to let him win.

There wasn’t time to get them all – he knew that going in.

He took one more fast look around and then headed for the door.

~*~ 

“Down! Get down!”

 He shouted it at Chin and Kono, on the lawn across the street.  Saw them follow his order – both of them dipping down low over Danny on his neighbor’s sidewalk.

He barely made it to them, threw himself over them; all three of their heads under his chest and his body as the blast hit and glass flew for a block, at least, around them.

Wood flew too; the door frame and several window corners landing in the street or next to them. The blast force was tangible – and they’d probably be picking glass from their hair, their skin and scalps for days but…

In once piece. All of them.

Steve sat back on the sidewalk, stunned, and only then realized that when he’d come running out Chin was up and over Danny. Giving him CPR. 

Danny had stopped breathing – had no pulse in the wrist Steve now held in his hand.

Chin was back up, doing chest compressions. Kono was keeping Danny’s artery from bleeding out any more. 

In the distance, Steve heard sirens.

There was nothing for him to do – and so, apparently, his brain chose that moment to give in.

“Oh, no…. Danny! Please hang on…” he heard Kono crying out as he went under.

 


	10. Tear me down to build me up...

Steve came to consciousness flinging himself off of the hospital bed; feet searching for the floor, arms flying in a self-protective half circle at shoulder level, fists clenched to fend off ….

….two nurses. Who he'd nearly knocked over.

“It’s all right, commander… _please_ …” one of them obviously recognized him from a prior visit; had her hands around his ribs and an upper arm, pushing with all her weight to keep him where he was - sitting, barely, on the edge of the thin ER mattress. “You’re at Queens General, and it’s safe here.”

They'd been working a hospital gown under and onto him when he surfaced. He tugged it the rest of the way on, body humming with nervous energy, his brain trying to gauge how much time had passed.

“Where is he? Where’s…”

“Detective Williams is in surgery. Please lie down. You lost consciousness, you need to be checked by a doctor…”

“I _need_ to find my team…”

“One of them is being assessed,” she said. Chin, he guessed. “The other will be back soon."

“My clothes...where …”

“That’s where she went, sir,” The nurses weren’t having it from him, were keeping him in place. Steve decided it might be good to give them the benefit of the doubt, since he didn’t even have the strength to push past them. “....to get you new clothes. Yours are …not wearable.”

He spotted them in a pile on the floor at the foot of the bed: filthy with sweat, soaked in blood. Danny’s blood. Not streaks or splotches; huge swathes of cotton and denim from knees to chest soaked through in maroon that was turning darker as it dried.

Adrenaline: That’s what had downed him, was making him feel like his body was made of lead; he was experiencing the aftermath of fear and adrenaline tearing through him like nothing had since….when? Ever?

It was one thing being in battle. It was another seeing what he’d seen today, in his own home.

~*~

Two hours later he was mobile again, just as Kono returned from paying Chin a visit in the room he’d been given for overnight observation. It's also when they found out Danny was in the ICU, his doctors ready to brief them on the surgery.

“It’s fortunate he could tolerate O Negative blood in the ambulance without going into shock,” he heard the doctor telling Kono.

Steve was sitting on a bench a yard away from them by the ICU door, slumped against the wall, wearing the sweatpants and a golf shirt she’s brought him.

“But the amount of blood he lost?” The doctor shook his head. “His pressure dropped so low, we don’t know what it may have done his brain, his other organs. He’s being treated for hypothermia, and we’re watching everything from electrolytes to the possibility of a heart attack. We'll know a lot more once another day has passed."

“What about his leg? The stab wound?” Kono asked.

“It’s the least of his worries,” the doctor sounded more upbeat there, and damn - thanks for small favors, Steve thought. “An arterial wound is a more straightforward fix than a cut across veins. The bigger concern is what the trauma did to the rest of him - but he’s young and healthy. There’s reason to hope.”

~*~

“You did _not_ do this to him.” Kono said, and Steve realized he'd spoken his thoughts out loud.

It was another hour later, and they’d gotten the okay to sit by Danny’s bed. Steve had an arm alongside Danny’s, so he could hold his hand and squeeze it, trace the top of it with his thumb alongside the catheter feeding him fluids and meds. The rest of Danny was covered, toes to shoulders, in layers of thermal blankets to raise his temperature.

“I keep hearing the last thing he said before we left HQ for the prison,” Steve looked up at her and then away, unable to accept the concern for him in her eyes. “He said we shouldn’t separate; that David would have to come through him to get to me. He was so angry when I went into that prison alone; it made him vulnerable. I should have had an idea David might….”

“David was a _monster_ ,” Kono pointed out. “Not only psychotic, but highly skilled at playing dirty. If you were someone who _could_ easily outthink him? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to know you.”

"Danny's always saying I’ll get him killed....” 

“He will pull through,” She set a hand on his shoulder, squeezing like maybe the gesture would snap Steve out of his self-condemning thoughts and make him listen. “The docs know all about what can go wrong - but they don’t know Danny.”

~*~

He did make it, though it was a long, bumpy recovery. There was no ‘a-ha’ moment; no him surfacing and asking for breakfast, please, as if nothing had happened. Steve thought it was more like watching him pull himself to shore a stroke at a time until he made it to the sand - dazed, blurry and disoriented. 

“Help me…take this…off….” 

Four days later, and they were the first words Danny said that Steve could understand. 

Danny’s fingers were fumbling with the oxygen mask on his face. Steve tugged it up for him and Danny got slowly-moving fingers under it, eyes trying to focus on it, on anything but failing to. He got it over his head, though, as he let them fall closed again.

“Steven…”

“Yes,” Steve leaned in.

“I….”

“What, Danny?”

“….I told….”

Steve felt emotion picking at his eyes and making his gut tighten.

“…told….you… so.”

Steve face-planted; arm going tight across Danny over the blankets, his face buried in them, fighting back tears and laughter at the same time and failing almost completely.

“Stop it….” Danny ordered, voice heavy and scratchy from painkillers and lack of use. “Don’t. Said it…to lighten the mood.”

There was no way to tell him it was way too soon for that. But it was a relief, that verbal jab. A huge relief.

~*~

“How bad is it?" Danny asked as they moved down the hall together. "The house?"

It was day five, and the doctors wanted Danny moving so the two of them were headed for the hospital wing’s sunroom - Steve's arm around him in place of a walker.

“You shouldn’t worry about that right now,” Steve said.

It was worth a try.

“Screw that, babe,” Danny said, slowly, focusing on walking and talking at the same time. “You don’t have to prove you're all about me right now. I can’t freaking…get _rid_ of you.”

Steve gave the snort he knew Danny was looking for. 

He’d been by him non-stop – sleeping in the ancient recliner that hospitals kept for family members, running down a nurse whenever Danny needed his pain meds or something for the nausea they gave him.

“It’s… um… the house is borderline.”

“As in whether to fix it or tear it down?”

“I’m leaning toward ‘tear it down,’” Steve said as they turned into the sunroom. “Hard to pull the trigger on that, you know? But…”

“It’ll never be the same,” Danny said. “Right? Structurally?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. "It'll never be the same."

~*~

“I think I overestimated myself…” Danny said from his apartment sofa, his voice deceptively upbeat from the joy of having walked out of the hospital after more than a week and breathing fresh air. “My appetite, I mean. Oh, and my ability to be upright for extended periods.”

He said it as Steve was returning from the kitchen with a tray full of sandwiches he’d made and glasses of water. Steve almost dropped the whole thing on Danny’s living room floor when he got a look at him.

“Are you okay?

Danny, who had looked pretty peppy in the car, was now almost as grey-white as he had been that awful day. Thank God, though, his eyes were open. And he had enough energy to be clearly pissed off at feeling so crappy.

“Yeah. Don’t worry; I’m not gonna pop a gasket, but I gotta be horizontal. I will be soon, like it or not. Dammit, I really wanted one of those…”

It was all Danny talked about as they were signing him out: He wanted real food. Roast beef on rye with mustard, a jar of gherkins and some salt and pepper chips. They’d even made a stop at the store for Steve to grab exactly that, and staples for the next few days.

“I’ll put ‘em in the fridge,” Steve turned back. “Wrap them so they don’t dry out. They can be dinner."

"You sick of taking care of me yet?" Danny asked once they were in his bedroom and he was pulling off his shirt. 

"Do I seem like I am?" Steve knew the answer was no - knew from how close to zero interest he had in being anywhere else until Danny was back to his normal, strutting, stubborn self again. 

"No, you don't...." Danny was slowly working out of his pants, still standing, and Steve stepped in to get his hands on his hips - to be something for Danny to balance on. "You haven't said if you're staying with me, though. My place is small, I know, but...."

Maybe it wouldn't be as long as he thought, Steve mused as Danny slid into bed. Until he could tell him. Hell, maybe he already had an idea what was on his mind; Danny seemed to suss out what he was thinking almost before he had time to.

"Can we not? Not tonight?" Steve watched him digest the request, settling in on his back, eyes on the ceiling. Then Danny looked at him and nodded, patting the spot on the bed to his far side; his good side, away from his healing wound.

Steve stripped to his boxer briefs, dropping in and arranging pillows so he could lay on his side.

"Better?" He ran a hand over Danny; across his hip, fingers ghosting over his abs and chest, each of them sinking into the bed with relief at the simple feeling of being alone, together, and skin-to-skin. "Still feeling dizzy?"

"I'm good,” Danny said. They said to take it slow. Guess they know what they're talking about."

"Need anything?" Steve asked. "Water? Pillow under your leg?"

"No," Danny set a hand over the one now flat against his chest. "Could use a long, deep, going-nowhere kiss, though. Got one of those for me?"

"Hell, yeah, I do...."

Steve pressed up enough to be over him, tugging Danny's pillow until they were both at the best angle. He kept it light to start; lip brushes, then presses, mouths soft and loose, breathing each other in, Steve's leg hitching over him to press closer.

It was a like a first kiss, in a way - until Danny's mouth opened for him and then it turned so familiar, so theirs the way their tongues slid and teased, the just-right clench of jaws as their heads did the dance. Danny let him run it, his body relaxing under Steve's, shifting with pleasure as Steve's hand started to wander some more – like he was acknowledging how much they both wanted, though they couldn't have it right now.

Not even a whole day, Steve thought as the kiss wound slowly down; not even a day passed between when he'd told Danny he loved him and David blowing their world apart. 

"You're gonna leave me alone in the desert again," Danny whispered as Steve settled back into his own pillow. "...aren't you?"

He sounded so close to tears, Steve couldn't even stand to move, to look at him.

"Seriously, Danny, not...."

"Not tonight. Yeah. That's probably.... best."

~*~

"There you are," Kono was first to spot Danny the morning he walked back into HQ. "Thank God! Maybe we can start to get back to normal around here...."

Steve saw Danny's eyes shoot his way at her words, as he went to collect his hugs and hellos. 

Steve had agreed they would talk about the future at lunch that day - somewhere neutral, not in Danny's place or in their offices. He picked the diner they went to the least: It wasn't the kind of conversation for your favorite hangout.

"I think it's a brilliant idea," Danny had said when Steve explained his plans. "But why can't you stay and do that here? Talk with kids around the islands?"

"I'll only reach a few hundred people – maybe a couple thousand. That's why," Steve was ready for anything Danny came at him with. "This program I'll work with, it covers home but also fifteen other states. I'll talk with so many kids at colleges, youth groups. People who might not even understand they've been assault victims. I’ll do a lot more good….and it'll get me away."

"Away…from me?”

"No, of course not. From here. The reporters left us alone while we were on leave, but..."

The official investigation into the prison break and what followed would be complete in a matter of weeks, but Steve had been warned by the governor's office that the articles about it would keep landing in local newspapers and magazines for months to come; every time there were new things unearthed about David's funding, his accomplices. 

"They aren't making you take this leave, are they?" Danny's voice was clipped, a little angry. 

"No. But I couldn't help noticing how relieved they looked when I suggested it," Steve shrugged. "If I take a year's leave there'll still be some chatter when I come back, but it won't be anything like what we'd be facing right now.”

"If you come back," Danny said. "A year's a long time."

They both knew how much their lives had changed in a short, few months; Steve didn't have it in him to tell Danny he was wrong to worry.

“I made a huge mistake half my life ago,” Steve said, finger’s reaching out to wrap around Danny’s wrist, to ask for his gaze. “And because I did, David not only hurt me – he hurt a lot of people. And then he hurt you. And no matter how many times you tell me it’s not my fault…. I can’t live with it unless I do something constructive about it. I've thought about it long and hard, Danny. This is the only way I get past this.”

“Well, then….” Danny looked miserable, still, eyes firmly on the table - but he didn’t pull his arm away. “What the hell am I supposed to say to that?”

“Say that you and Chin and Kono will run things together while I’m gone,” Steve said. “That’s all. Tell me you’ll be okay.”

~*~

“Son of a bitch, Steven…. _fuuuck_ ….”

Danny had a small sea of pillows under and around him where he sat against his own headboard. But still he could feel the bars against his back, he was pressing so hard.

He reached a hand to trace fingers over where they were connected; Steve crouched low over his lap, back to him, fucking down rough and repeatedly on Danny’s cock.

He had Steve faced away so he could appreciate it all; Steve kneeling tall, the blotchy pink swaths across his upper back where Danny had used the flogger, first. The brighter, red stretches of skin across Steve’s ass where he’d taken the paddle to him. And the nicks on his thighs and lower ass cheeks, left behind by the crop.

And then, there were Steve’s arms – so much strength held in place; wrists clasped behind him, wide leather buckles around each one and a two inch chain stretched horizontally between them. 

“Jesus you’re like…. frigging dom _catnip_ ,” Danny got hands on Steve’s hips and urged him on faster. “You’ve got some nerve…being such a big, hot pain slut. Fucking love it, don’t you? Me seeing you like this?”

A month since they’d had any chance to play, and it was _so_ damn good. Steve's sounds were all breathless and wavering, the pleasure too much to process without letting it out in his groans. 

Danny felt fortunate when he could hold on long enough to come last. It was close.

“Our whole situation would be a lot easier,” he said later, as he was slathering Steve’s back with aloe and dropping in to kiss his shoulders, his neck. “If the sex could suck at least a little before you go, maybe. Could you work on that?”

The low, deep hum he got in return sounded so much like a lion purring he had to chuckle. 

 

~*~

"Are you sure you don't want me to check in on the progress once in a while?" Danny took a few steps from the busy spot where Steve had just dropped his bag at the Honolulu Airport's agricultural screening line. "Make sure you're not getting ripped off?"

"Believe me, the insurance agency's all over it," Steve followed, one arm dropping around Danny and his other hand tucking his boarding ticket and phone into his pants pocket. "They're paying, and they want it done right. I'll be talking with them a lot."

"It'll be strange, though, won't it?" Danny guided them toward the airport windows, the little 'goodbye' nook between the revolving doors and the security check line. "When you get back; coming home to nothing but lawn and ocean?"

"At least I'll know by then...." Steve turned to face him. "What I want to do. Rebuild or sell. And I won't have to watch the house come down."

Danny only nodded at that. Then he was quiet for so long, looked so 'somewhere else' that Steve's breath caught. He gave the toe of Danny's shoe a light kick with his boot.

"I, uh....I slipped a going-away present in your suitcase..." Danny shifted in place, a distracted, wandering hand finding the back of his own head. " Didn't want to put it in your knapsack in case they go through it in line over there..."

"Oh, really?" Steve smiled - part relief, part anticipation. "Something we can... share on the phone?"

"I'll have to insist," Danny said. "And, you know, you can enjoy it alone, too. Or with someone else."

"Danny...."

Steve had sensed him starting to broach this more than once the last few days. Somehow he had hoped they could simply not talk about them in too much detail, but now he saw determination on Danny's face.

"I know how you are, Steve; that you're tougher on yourself than anyone else ever could be. But I also know there's no way either of us is turning into a monk for months at a time. So until you come home .... I am still yours but I'm not your dom. Do what's right for you, okay? Every day."

"That's not what I want from this, Danny...."

"I know. But it's what's best - for both of us."

"Ah..." It wasn't unexpected, but it wasn't easy hearing it out loud.

"Look, I plan to be here waiting - and I sure don't plan to meet anyone else," Danny said. "But if I do... I'll tell you first, before it gets serious. I'll always be completely honest with you."

"I know, " Steve worked to keep his tone light. "It's one of the reasons I fell for you."

"I’ll miss you...." Danny said it in his best 'you need to hear me' tone. "...every single day. Every one."

Steve didn't trust his voice any longer, so he offered his arms instead- relieved when Danny didn't settle for a polite goodbye-at-the-airport hug but wound himself around him, cheek to Steve's shoulder and chest, squeezing him for all Danny was worth.

"I'll call you when I get to New York,” Steve offered when they finally parted.

"Yeah. Just keep that time difference in mind, okay? You know how much I love my sleep..." Danny fished something out of his pocket and handed it to him. "Here; something to keep and look at once in a while. This is safe to open on the plane."

~*~

Steve waited until after takeoff to open the envelope. All that was in it was a photo - the glossy kind you could print out at the drug store directly from your phone. 

On the front was a view of Steve's lawn at sunset - with two empty chairs, and the ocean turning dark teal under an orange sky. Steve flipped it over and read Danny's loose scrawl across the back.

_The best revenge is living well, babe. So be well, work through this, and come the hell home soon. I love you - Danny._

~end~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who was patient enough to keep up with this over so much time. I feel awful it took me so long to finish it, but...finally! Thank you for reading it.


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